A Tale of Two Kitties: Bloody in Tooth and Claw
A few weeks back, one of my cats bit the other. Not just a little nip, this was serious, broke the skin, needed stitches. These are the very same Rag Doll cats I’ve written about before. I had wanted a bonded pair, and they were offered free for private adoption. They needed a new home due to family allergies. So, they came to me, as if our connection was meant to be.
But nothing’s that simple and, when it comes to pets, nothing’s ever free. This breed is known to be docile, sweet, and also beautiful, with long cream-black-russet fur and blue eyes. My two are brother and sister: she braver and more assertive; he shyer, more of a scaredy cat. The previous owners told me she was protective of him. And I could see that in their behavior as they settled in. He had a case of nerves, shed hair from his back legs, and took longer to warm up. But eventually came up to sleep on my bed, while she wandered the house. But in time, she too came up on my bed to sleep. Now, after the biting incident, sleeping arrangements have changed once again. Coco now takes the bed, while Café is on a couch in the den and seldom comes into the front of the house.
What Changed?
What changed? How did two members of this bred-to-be-gentle breed fall into conflict? There’s a story and I’m here to tell it. First time I had cats with such long hair. Took me a while to find a grooming brush that worked. Easier with the female Coco, her hair fine so it formed into small, but workable, tangles. A different story with Café, the male: his hair is coarser and formed into big mats that rose in raised channels along either side of his back.
Got away from me before I realized and by then I could not get a brush or comb through. Feeling guilty, I searched for a cat groomer, but they’re hard to come by. I did find plenty of dog groomers. I did discover a couple who groomed cats, but both were booked months in advance. But clearly this situation couldn’t be good for his skin. I finally took him to a vet nearby. I thought/assumed they would just take off the big mats on his back. I should have asked more questions. But no, they shaved him. They should have been more communicative. Should have told me exactly what they planned to do.
Reintroducing; When Everything Changed
Things changed when I took Café home. The vet tech brought him out in his carrier, so I hadn’t seen him, hadn’t seen what they had done to him. When I lifted him out, his short coat came as a surprise and a shock. I felt embarrassed for him, essentially naked, though I doubt he noticed. Coco had a much more extreme reaction. She hissed at him. Not unusual coming back from the vet, so I thought she’d soon remember, get over it, and accept him again. But no, she continued to treat him as a stranger, an interloper. They’d get into little spats. Or really she would. She’d yowl at him. He’s not as vocal and his voice is quieter when he does “speak.” But he’d growl at her to keep away. Never witnessed a full out fight, but I have heard them. A couple times I found fur that had flown for real, not just metaphorically. What I picked up was longish, so mostly Coco’s. She must get the worst of it. But she kept instigating anyway.
My Part
The standoff continued. I‘d yell at Coco to stop. She would sometimes. But she’s a cat, so she only listens when she feels like it. Café would hide under or behind furniture or come close to me for protection. Sometimes Coco would stop for a while. And I’d hope that would continue, that whatever switch had flipped would flip back. But just when I gave a sigh of relief, she’d start up again. No reasoning with her; she is a cat.
Odd Thoughts
At one point, I thought maybe I should have her shaved, so they’d match. That somehow that would help her remember him. But of course, she wouldn’t, and I didn’t. Our minds can go to odd, magical-thinking, places, when we feel stymied. And I got a grip and realized it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. Neither cat would know the difference. She wouldn’t suddenly remember again that he’s her brother. Later, I started to wonder if this could be some kind of sibling rivalry and they were performing/acting out for me. Did they leave each other alone when I wasn’t around? No way to know, unless I got a nanny cam. And that seemed way too extreme.
Consequences
One evening, I came home and sat down to eat dinner. Coco rested on the floor nearby. And, when I glanced down, I saw she had a big wound on her rear flank! A vet, treating another of my cats, once explained to me the way cats fight. Common places for wounds are paws or face, if they’re head on, or the butt if they run away. Coco must have run away. And Café had enough already, and he caught her. And though not so brave, he is bigger and stronger. And perhaps at the end of his patience, if that applies to cats.
Emergency
I bundled Coco into her carrier to take her to MedVet 24-hour emergency. They downplayed till they saw the wound, large and deep enough she needed stitches. She came home with her rear legs shaved, as well as part of one front leg where the IV had been inserted. And she had to wear a big collar, so she couldn’t mess with the stitches. In a way, my idea of mutual shaving had come true. May have paused the situation, but would it make a difference? No way to know yet.
Antibiotics, Etc.
We came home with oral antibiotics, to prevent infection. Being a cat, Coco refused/resisted. So, I took her to the vet for a two-week shot. After that, movements constricted by the collar, she couldn’t fight, just hung out on my bed. I hand fed her little treats. And she peed on the bed. I washed all bedding and restricted her in the room with the litter box, food, and water.
Not Learning; Partial Solution
Coco’s wound healed well. But as soon as the stitches were removed and the collar came off, she was back at messing with Café. I did some research on stress and “conflict” among cats. Guess I should have thought of that before. I do know cats don’t like change. I ordered a pheromone diffuser. Delivered, it was like a small miracle. As soon as I plugged it in, Coco calmed down right away. Not perfect: she still sometimes goes after Café. But other times, it seems she wants to be friends again, but he’s leery. Doesn’t trust. Hides from her when he can’t get away.
Hoping for Peace
I tell Coco there are consequences for her actions. And I don’t want to pay another big fee if she gets herself wounded again. Of course, she doesn’t understand. And probably wouldn’t listen anyway. But she has started sniffing Café’s butt and he’s started to let her. And he’s let her lick his head a couple times. Though he still prone to growl and move away and hides. Still, I hold out hope for eventual peace or at least co-existence. Though he still growls when she only comes near. Can’t blame him; I would too. But now, I wonder if she’s trying to play and he won’t cooperate.
My Life With Cats
For me, the biting incident has raised what I’ll call lifestyle questions. Started me delving into my reasons for keeping cats. I live alone and I like the company, having other living, breathing, moving creatures in the house. I don’t have children, but I l appreciate the chance to care for other sentient beings. And there’s a trajectory from caring to love, especially in times when it’s not fun. Throughout, I like the way they snuggle up, climb on top of me. The way their blue eyes meet my brown eyes. My husband used to say cats are not like dogs: they consider us equals. They also bring an element of mystery into my life. What are they thinking? Are they thinking? Can’t ask. Is whatever goes on inside them all just instinct? And now, why is Cleo doing what she’s doing? Is that just instinct? Or inability to process the change in Café? And why do these issues always have to do with their hair? A friend asked whether I have the cats, or they have me. Probably a bit of both.